If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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