Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
