I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You can't special order awesome
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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