he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize