i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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