I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
