How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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