you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
