i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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