Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
