'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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