I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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