everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
