I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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