I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
