Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
