Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
