I'm going to jail i love you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize