he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
