I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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