It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
