I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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