It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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