The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
