i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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