i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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