I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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