The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
