At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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