Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize