I must be too annoying 4 u.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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