She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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