I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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