arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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