I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Damn victory sex feels great
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
