I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
