your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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