i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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