he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
