would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
