he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
not ubering you a puppy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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