? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
