Pregnant stripper...not hot.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
