hotel room ftw
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Randomize