Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Randomize
