did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize