one might say we're banned from that church
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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