we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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