yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm going to jail i love you
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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