We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
