I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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