New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
