Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's never too late to be topless.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
