I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
me + whiskey = a bad person
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
