He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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