i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
